[Humor] 5 features we would like to see in Android Kaju Katli

Google code names each major software version of Android after a sweet dish. Android 1.5 was Cupcake, followed by Donut, Eclair, Froyo (Frozen Yogurt), Ice Cream Sandwich and Jelly Bean. The next version is rumored to be Key Lime Pie.

Fans in India recently started an online campaign to rename the next version as Kaju Katli, after the delicious cashew based Indian sweet dish.

That got us thinking: if Google had to name it after an Indian sweet dish, let's add some Indian masala features into Kaju Katli! . Of course, these could be third-party apps as well, but no one would invest in building them.

Read our take on what Android Kaju Katli could offer Indian fans as we munch on some delicious Kaju Katli:

1. Yes/no head bob indicator*

Ah! The famous Indian head nod. If you’re not familiar with it, ask your neighbor a question and try deciphering his nod. Was it a yes or a no?

Kaju Katli could quickly study patterns of head nods and instantly flash a yes or no on your screen, saving you a lot of confusion. Good idea? Wait...don’t start nodding yet.

2. Chips to vacuum ratio calculator

Buy a packet of chips, and you’d think you’re paying for vacuum sealing. Start eating the chips and before you know it, they’re over!

We would love Kaju Katli to scan the bar code of the chips packet and tell us how many chips we can expect inside.

3. IPL jingle auto mute

The current IPL jingle is perhaps the single greatest monstrosity that's been foisted on to listeners (and no thanks to the horrendous Farah Khan ad!)

Kaju Katli could sync with your smart TV and automatically mute the jingle when it plays out. As an added benefit, it could mask the screen when Farah Khan shows up to teach dance steps to unsuspecting cricket lovers and show best Chris Gayle shots during IPL. That might make me a fan of IPL again!

4. Bollywood dance step generator*

Let’s face it. You can coax dance moves from Indian men only after they have had a couple of pegs. Once you see them dance, you realize that their inhibitions about making fools of themselves were valid.

Most Indian men have a few stock dance moves which they rotate in turns - the nag dance step, the cycle step, the bulb changing step, the run-around-as-a-train step, and then repeat.

Kaju Katli can save much embarrassment and mirth by using the gyroscope to detect when the guy is attempting to dance and flash a warning. If he still goes ahead, it could show him a few more easy dance steps from the likes of Salman Khan and Govinda to emulate, depending on the music, while simultaneously alerting nearby friends to take videos.

5. Rajini comment and background music generator*

Our won-and-wonly superstar Rajinikanth has amazing punch lines not just because of the way he delivers them, but also because of the swishing sounds that play in the background.

You probably come across multiple instances when you wished you had a cool dialogue to repartee.

Kaju Katli could automatically detect when’s a good time to draw a punch line, flash it on your phone and play the appropriate background sound. (for effect only machi)

These are the top 5 on our list. What would you like Kaju Katli to do? Let us know in the comments below.

*Features that would work best with Google Glass.

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