Exploring positive parenting with influencer and mental health expert Swati Jagdish, aka Maya’s Amma

Parenting. It's a messy, joyful, and sometimes overwhelming journey.

Imagine it less like a competition with a gold medal at the finish line, and more like a wild, unpredictable hike with your favourite little explorer. There's no good or bad in parenting, but there are countless approaches that can lead to a happy and healthy relationship with your child.

In recent generations, there's been a growing emphasis on  ‘performance parenting’. This mindset focuses heavily on external validation—high grades, trophies, and achievements that look good on paper. While there's nothing wrong with wanting your child to succeed, this approach can create a pressure cooker environment for both parents and children.

For many parents, the quest for ‘good’ parenting can feel overwhelming. But Swati Jagdish, mental health expert and influencer, popularly known as Maya’s Amma on Instagram, emphasises that there's no single right way to raise children.  

Jagdish and her NGO, Coimbatore Parenting Network (CPN), educate people on subjects including lactation counselling, sex education, behaviour analysis, and parenting. In a recent conversation with YS Life, she suggests that parenting is about navigating a system built on your values. 

Traditionally, success for children has often been equated with top grades and academic achievement.

However, she has observed a growing shift: parents are recognising that education, while undeniably important, isn't the only path to fulfilment. Many adults haven't pursued careers directly tied to their studies. This reality highlights the fact that children, with proper guidance, can carve out their unique paths in life.  

“There's a realisation that education isn't the ultimate (choice). We're seeing a lot more parents understand that their children can figure out a way for life if they are guided properly," Jagdish observes. 

“This guidance doesn't solely focus on academics. It's about nurturing a well-rounded individual with the skills and support they need to thrive,” she adds. 

Understanding how to navigate this shift is the key.

"It's about what matters to you in the long run," she elaborates. 

"Do you want your child to be happy and fulfilled, or simply successful by societal standards?" 

Identifying core values, whether it's honesty, creativity, resilience, or a strong work ethic, becomes the foundation for parenting decisions. These values guide in shaping a future where the child can blossom and reach their full potential.

Positive parenting doesn't involve dictating every move your child makes. Jagdish says it best: "Our role is to guide them, not dictate their every move. If we equip them with the right values and help them discover their passions, they'll find their own path in life." 

This approach fosters a sense of autonomy and self-belief. Children learn to make their own choices, navigate challenges, and discover their passions, all with the support and guidance of their parents.

The benefits of positive parenting are undeniable. 

"Positive parenting is about building a strong foundation of love, trust, and open communication," she says. 

When children feel supported and understood, they blossom into confident and capable individuals. This nurturing environment allows children to develop a strong sense of self-worth and the courage to pursue their dreams.

Alternative education approaches

Parenting is a journey filled with choices, and one of the most important decisions you'll make is your child's education. Traditionally, formal schooling has been the go-to option, but there's a growing awareness of alternative approaches. 

Homeschooling has topped the alternative list. This option allows parents to take a more hands-on approach to their child's education, creating a curriculum that aligns with their values and their child's unique needs. 

The ‘right’ choice depends on one’s values and circumstances. Jagdish acknowledges homeschooling as a viable option for families who seek a more customised educational experience. 

She highlights the importance of understanding child development and creating a nurturing environment that fosters a love of learning.

Trivandrum-based couple Mili N Das and Anoop Krishnan are unschooling their two daughters, who are 10 and 5 years old. Unschooling is an educational philosophy that emphasises learning based on a child's interests rather than a set curriculum.

The family switched to unschooling when the COVID-19 pandemic hit and the children had to rely on electronic devices for learning. “Children learn best when they are allowed to follow their interests," believes Das.

Her elder daughter attended school up to first grade before the switch to unschooling.  

For Bengaluru-based couple Sarah and James, parents of a five-year-old boy, nature is their classroom. 

"We spend a lot of time outdoors…hands-on experiences are the best way for our kids to learn," they say. 

They prioritise environmental consciousness, healthy living, and fostering a love of learning. This translates to spending significant time outdoors exploring nature, implementing a plant-based diet for health reasons, and focusing on fostering a love for learning through hands-on experiences rather than traditional classroom methods. 

On the other hand, Kochi-based Biju and Mary John, parents of a 14-year old boy, explain, "Schools offer a unique social environment. We believe our children must develop strong social connections." 

The couple value well-rounded development and believe the traditional school environment provides valuable social interaction with classmates, teachers, and a diverse group of people. This helps their children develop social skills, teamwork, and empathy, qualities they hold dear. 

Jagdish reminds us that parenting isn't about a fixed destination—"It is about nurturing the child's potential, celebrating their individuality, and watching them blossom into who they are meant to be."

She suggests that like travelling to a new land, the path of parenting will be different for every family. 

"Embrace the unexpected twists and turns, revel in the moments of wonder, and enjoy the lifelong learning adventure that parenthood offers," she advises.

The adventure of parenting has no user manual, Jagdish suggests. “Trust your instincts, celebrate your child's unique journey, and enjoy the lifelong learning experience that parenthood offers,” she concludes.