Leeza Mangaldas on creating a space that’s inclusive and sex-positive

In a patriarchal society like India, vulva owners have for long been named and shamed for speaking about sex and sexuality. In this fear-based environment, they don’t have much of a choice but to lean on untrustworthy sources of information. Most grow up believing that sex should exactly be how it is represented in porn, which perpetuates a negative cycle of beliefs. Also, the near-perfect bodies showcased in such films internalise the need to be a certain way, a way portrayed in popular culture and media. 

There’s always been a dire need for inclusive and non-judgemental sex-positive resources to disseminate information on sex, sexuality, body, and gender. While our country has a long way to go in normalising conversations around these pertinent subjects, the journey has been initiated with the emergence of several online content creators who are going against the grain. 

One such name that instantly strikes you is that of Leeza Mangaldas. The popular sex educator, influencer, and author of The Sex Book: A Joyful Journey of Self-Discovery published by HarperCollins has created a safe space for her audience on the web, where they can speak about anything related to sex without the fear of being labelled. 

Her work has garnered attention and appreciation, with titles like Sexual Health Influencer Of The Year at The Cosmo India Blogger Awards 2022, under her belt. 

She is also a recipient of The Pleasure Project’s Pleasure Fellowship that advocates for sexual and reproductive health and rights (SRHR), with a special focus on pleasure. 

In a freewheeling chat with YS Life, Leeza opens up about how she began creating sex-ed content, the motivation behind The Sex Book, and more. 

Building a safe space 

Leeza’s undergraduate course at Columbia University was heavily focused on themes like gender and sexuality. As a resident advisor – who was in charge of student life within a designated floor in a residence hall – she was tasked with conducting consent training workshops and educating peers about safer sex practices. “We even had bags of free condoms hung on our doors, so students had safe and easy access to protection,” she recalls. 

Having been exposed to a liberal environment, which is otherwise not a norm even in the US or western world, her return to Mumbai left her in utter confusion and shock. As a young person navigating her own sexuality and sexual health, she found no accessible or non-judgemental platforms that were contextualised to India. 

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“As a young, unmarried woman, everything from accessing contraception to an STI test is a big deal; let alone talking about sexual pleasure. This is when these are such basic things and we should have adequate access to them. I wanted to do something to encourage these much-needed conversations in a way that felt safe, positive, and normal,” she adds. 

Leeza first began creating sex-ed content about five years ago on YouTube. Calling it her passion project, she tirelessly worked towards building a resource where content around sexuality and sexual health was accessible. At this point, she also reached out to educators, doctors, artists, and writers, amongst others, to know more about their lived experiences. 

“I have always wanted to provide scientifically accurate, judgement-free, queer inclusive, and pleasure inclusive content. I create shorter videos in English and Hindi for Instagram, while the longer ones are reserved for my YouTube channel. The reach is phenomenal, with millions of people accessing the content daily,” reveals Leeza, adding that she also has a popular Spotify Exclusive Podcast, called The Sex Podcast, where she answers commonly-aske d sex-related questions in Hindi. 

The motivation behind turning author

While she loves creating short vertical videos for social media platforms, there’s a limitation on how much one can pack into a few seconds, or even a minute. It may be a great tool for discovery and can reach a large audience in a short span, but Leeza believes it is crucial to build a comprehensive, in-depth resource – one that encompasses all the main topics under the sex-education umbrella, in an easy-to-understand format, contextualised to India. 

Available as a paperback, e-book, and an audiobook voiced by her, Leeza hopes it will be explored by those who enjoy reading and may not even be aware of the kind of content she puts out online. 

The book has been divided into four parts, with the first section being called “The Body: Your Genitals Are Normal”. This explains sexual anatomy and bodily processes in great detail along with wonderful and important illustrations by artist Ipsita Divedi. The second section is called  “Sex: What You Need To Know Before You Get Naked” that touches upon consent, protection, and contraception, STIs, and the legal and medical landscape around abortion in India. 

The third section focuses on everything around pleasure, while the last one discusses much-neglected subjects like talking to one’s parents or children about sex. It also delves deep into the makings of a healthy relationship, and more. 

“I believe the book is relevant across generations and that the information is timeless – so I hope it becomes the go-to resource for people who want to learn about sex, sexuality, sexual health, gender, relationships, and the body, for years to come,” she shares. 

Why pleasure matters 

In the Indian context, there is a public silence about all aspects of sex, be it consent, safety, or pleasure. Even if sex education is a part of the curriculum, the emphasis is on the potential negative repercussions of sex (STI’s, accidental pregnancy). Conversations around intimacy, connection, and identity are almost always absent. 

“It is important to advocate comprehensive sex education that is both pleasure and queer-inclusive. Of course, it should cover precautions to avert negative consequences, but it is equally essential to focus on positive experiences that are central to greater gender equality. This is the only solution to ensure sexual and reproductive health and rights, and end sexual and gender-based violence,” affirms Leeza. 

The sex educator is personally keen on dismantling a specific set of myths around women’s sexuality and pleasure. For example, the centrality of the clitoris to the pleasure of people with vulvas has been neglected in communications around sex for so long that many men and even many women don’t realise that penetration alone is insufficient for most women and people with vulvas to reach orgasm. 

The truth is that there’s nothing wrong with us--most people just don’t know enough about our anatomy and its relationship to pleasure. The majority of women require at least some amount of clitoral stimulation, whether on its own or alongside penetration--to reach orgasm, explains Leeza. 

“It’s possible to orgasm even from nipple stimulation, kissing, even stimulation of the neck and back and various other parts of the body,” Leeza concludes.